I am here inside my unlit room with only the light from the laptop's currently flashing on my face. I am watching Chuck, season 2 episode something. And to tell you, I sort of hate my bum-life right now.
So it has been almost 2 weeks since I last had my job interview and after that, I was back to being an idler. Those companies which I was expecting myself to be hired just raised my hopes too high, made me feel that after coming back for another set of interviews with them, I will be hired then. But NO. I was not. While waiting for them to call me back for the last time (if I am actually hired), I did the math on what will this if-ever job will cost me.. The transportation expenses, food, extra expenses and a lot more since the if-ever workplace I was expecting to be working at is way too far from home. And again, NO, I wasn't hired. They did not really called me back after.
I tried my best not to expect too much but here I am, sad and feeling a little bit hopeless and incompetent. I guess that's the sense of expecting too much...You might not know how it's gonna end but at one point, you know you can do something to have an outcome of things you want to have and things you want to be.
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Was I not allowed to say no? Why ask between yes or no if you can't handle the answer anyway? Oh dear... That is being unfair. You know that... or at any point, do you? Now that makes me sad.
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