No... A word that could cover up a query but at some point is lacking.

The decision has been made by yours truly. It is a no. I had to say no.

A blessing (but let me call it The Chance) sprung up in front of me but I had to turn my back for some selfish reasons: one, I have to do my own growing; second: It hurts me; third: It will hurt, if not now, I know eventually it will; and lastly: I should not feel all these stuff relating to being hurt. I know I'm being egoistic here, having all the pride and sort... and now, while I'm wrapping things up... broke down these selfish reasons and I came up with one. I am scared. Scared of being attached still, scared of what people will say, scared of feeling inferior, tactless opinions, scared that I might bogged down and might not be able to pull myself back, to fall. I am scared.

The Chance had gone with the wind. I made the right decision, maybe. I made the wrong decision, that is a maybe as well... However, I believe that the universe rearranges and plots all... all the things that are supposed and bound to happen, no matter how long will it take, eventually will take place.

I have no idea if you understand what I'm trying to say here, but I hope you do.

So yeah. Done with this one heck of a subliminal post... *sigh*